My Father
When I was ...
Four years old: My daddy can do anything.
Five years old: My daddy knows a
whole lot.
Six years old: My dad is smarter
than your dad.
Eight years old: My dad doesn't know
exactly everything.
Ten years old: In the olden days,
when my dad grew up, things were sure different.
Twelve years old: Oh, well, naturally,
Dad doesn't know anything about that. He is too old to remember his childhood.
Fourteen years old: Don't pay any
attention to my dad. He is so old-fashioned.
Twenty-one years old: Him? My Lord,
he's hopelessly out of date.
Twenty-five years old: Dad knows
about it, but then he should,
because he has been around so long.
Thirty years old: Maybe we should
ask Dad what he thinks. After all, he's had a lot of experience.
Thirty-five years old: I'm not doing
a single thing until I talk to Dad.
Forty years old: I wonder how Dad
would have handled it. He was so wise.
Fifty years old: I'd give anything
if Dad were here now so I could talk this over with him. Too bad I didn't
appreciate how smart he was. I could have learned a lot from him.
~~~~~~~
A company held a contest for kids
with the theme: "The nicest thing My Father Ever Did For Me." One
kid answered "He married my mother."
~~~~~~~
In the frozen foods department of
our local grocery store, I noticed a man shopping with his son. As I walked
by, he checked something off his list, and I heard him whisper conspiratorially
to the child, "You know, if we really mess this up, we'll never have to
do it again."
~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~
Did You Know?
There are more collect calls on Father's
Day than any other day of the year.
An estimated $1 billion is spent
each year in the United States for Father's Day gifts, but Dad is still
paying the bill when it comes to telephone calls from the kids.
~~~~~~~
Quotes on Fathers
"A man knows when he is growing old
because he begins to look like his father."
-- Gabriel García Márquez
"I cannot think of any need in childhood
as strong as the need for a father's protection." -- Sigmund Freud
"That is the thankless position of
the father in the family-the provider for all, and the enemy of all." --
J. August Strindberg
"It is a wise father that knows his
own child." -- William Shakespeare
"If the new American father feels
bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever
he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being
right." -- Bill Cosby
"Blessed indeed is the man who hears
many gentle voices call him father!"
-- Lydia M. Child
~~~~~~~
Since my 16-year-old son recently
received a prepaid cell phone as a gift, I've asked him to use it to call
home if he's out past his curfew. One Saturday night while waiting up for
him, I dozed off in front of the TV. Later I woke to realize that there
was no sign of him, and there had been no call.
Irate, I punched in his number.
When he answered, I demanded, "Where are you, and why haven't you bothered
to call?"
"Dad," he sleepily replied, "I'm
upstairs in bed. I've been home for an hour."
~~~~~~~
Seen on T-Shirts:
First National Bank of Dad.
Sorry, Closed.
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