Can you imagine working at the following company?
It has a little over 500 employees
with the following statistics:
29 have been accused of spousal
abuse
7 have been arrested for fraud
19 have been accused of writing
bad checks
117 have bankrupted at least two
businesses
3 have been arrested for assault
71 cannot get a credit card due
to bad credit
14 have been arrested on drug-related
charges
8 have been arrested for shoplifting
21 are current defendants in lawsuits
In 1998 alone, 84 were stopped for
drunk driving
Can you guess which organization
this is? Give up?
It's the 535 members of your United
States Congress. The same group that perpetually cranks out hundreds upon
hundreds of new laws designed to keep the rest of us in line.
The New Air Force One
A little boy wanted $100 very badly
and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write
GOD a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received
the letter addressed to GOD, USA, they decided to send it to President
Clinton.
The President was so impressed,
touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little
boy a $5 bill. President Clinton thought this would appear to be
a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with
the $5 and sat down to write a thank-you note to GOD, which read:
Dear GOD,
Thank you very much for sending
me the money, however, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it
through Washington and, as usual, those jerks deducted $95.
Q: Why are there two Senators for
each state?
A: Somebody's got to be the designated
driver.
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Taxation WITH representation ain't much
fun either.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Never have I seen a word as accurate
as politics.
"Poli" in Latin meaning many, and
"tics" being blood-sucking things.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. Do you know what's wrong with
political jokes?
A. They get elected.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every politician who runs for the presidency
says he wants to turn the country around. That's why we have so many problems.
The country's been turned around so many times, it's going in circles.
-- Joe Hickman
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Politicians and diapers have one thing
in common:
They should both be changed regularly,
and for the same reason.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How come we choose from just two people
for president and 50 for Miss America?
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